Posts Tagged 'making changes'
Forgive yourself; but not so fast!
Published January 9, 2012 Grief and Loss , Mental Health Issues , Relationships Leave a CommentTags: finding happiness, grief, Grief and Loss, intentional living, making changes, Relationships, therapy
On the contrary, it’s much more helpful – and mature – to dwell long enough to review your behavior and seriously think about how to avoid it in the future. In this time of reflection you may discover underlying issues that helped propel you to regretful conduct, and thereby have a chance to not only avoid similar circumstance, but to heal yourself and reconcile with others in a more meaningful way.
It’s about time!
Published December 5, 2011 Musings Leave a CommentTags: finding happiness, intentional living, making changes, Relationships
Imagine that you had won the following prize in a
contest:
Each morning your bank would deposit $86,400.00 in your private account for your use.
However, this prize has rules, just as any game has rules.
The first set of rules would be:
1) Everything that you didn’t spend during each day would be taken away from you.
2) You may not transfer money into some other account. You may only spend it. 3) Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with another $86,400.00 for that day.
The second set of rules - there’s only one!:
The bank can end the game without warning; at any time it can say “It’s over, the game is over!” and you will not be invited to play again. Your account is permanently closed!
What would you do?
You would buy anything and everything you wanted, right? Not only for yourself, but also for people you love, right? And you would do as many “good” things as you could for everyone everywhere. You would try to spend as much of it as you possibly could doing good things for the planet, its people, and the creatures we share it with.
ACTUALLY This GAME is REALITY!
Each of us is in possession of such a magical bank. We just can’t seem to see it.
The MAGICAL BANK is TIME!
Each morning we awaken to receive 86,400
seconds as a gift of life, and when we go to sleep at night, any remaining time is NOT credited to us.
What we haven’t lived up that day is forever
lost.
Yesterday is forever gone.
Each morning the account is refilled, but the bank can dissolve your account at any
time….WITHOUT WARNING.
SO, what will YOU do with your 86,400 seconds?
Those seconds are worth so much more than the
same amount in dollars.
Think about that, and always think of this:
Enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than you think.
So take care of yourself, be Happy, Love Deeply and enjoy life! 
Start spending!
Change: and all the word implies.
Published April 11, 2011 Musings Leave a CommentTags: change your world, making changes, personal change, power of language, power of words, words for change
Change can be elusive and yet be right in front of us.
Check out this 2 minute story for a poignant lesson on why words can make a difference , and can change your world.
http://youtu.be/Hzgzim5m7oU
Next, begin to listen to yourself, and to others, more closely, to development an appreciation of the power of words.
Then do your best to use you words intentionally, and for helping to create a more kind and just world.
Yes, you can.
Here There Be Dragons!
Published September 27, 2010 Mental Health Issues Leave a CommentTags: fear of change, making changes, personal change
The decision to change, to journey into the unknown,
can be daunting!
It’s been said that committing to change is not unlike committing to leaving your familiar rooms and walking into a dark room every day. You can’t be sure where the people are, or even where the furniture is. You may find comfortable places and uncertain spaces. There may be welcoming arms to embrace you
and, as sailors once feared as they left sight of land, there may be dragons to face you!
If you are ready, or want to get ready to explore the possiblities in your life, then contact a qualified therapist today and set sail into a new future. And yes, the map you follow will have areas unknown and as yet unknowable, and perhaps marked with the the notation “Here there be dragons.”
Learn to slay the dragons you discover and you will be able to live your life more intentionally.
Contact a qualified therapist and begin your own journey into a new future
Poor Me!
Published July 13, 2010 Addictions Leave a CommentTags: alcohol problem, alcoholic, alcoholics, alcoholism, drinking problem, making changes, recovery, recovery from alcoholism
Poor me.
POUR ME!
Alcohol addiction, if you are struggling for sobriety, is a formidable adversary. Something that will make your battle more difficult is to have an attitude of entitlement. Yes, you may have experienced some serious losses due to your drinking, and you deserve empathy and warm wishes as you confront your painful and even damaging behavior. It is not helpful to your recovery however, or to your rebuilding of relationships, if you keep the perspective of having been “deprived” of your rightful
privileges and possessions. In fact, if you have lost people dear to you and possessions you worked hard for, it may be more helpful to accept that you traded them away in return for “that feeling.” The loss of meaning and positive self-regard, through neglect, distraction and deceit is painful to accept. Only through acceptance of our own frailty can we hope to re-build a whole and wholesome self. All else is simply a flight into health; and short-lived at that.
Recovery can be an arduous process if properly done. Try not to run before you can walk.
If you want to fly, take the time to grow wings.
Yes. You can.
Promises, Promises – part 2
Published May 6, 2010 Mental Health Issues Leave a CommentTags: breaking habits, change, intentional living, making changes, personal change
Success in making personal changes means making a committment to yourself.
Here are 4 more tips to help when you decide to make a personal change in your behavior.
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Move beyond your slips. If you have a setback and haven’t acknowledged that we all can fall a step back in our efforts to change, you might feel defeated, then feel that since you’ve already been defeated there’s no point in going on. Practice being resilient rather than rigid, and re-start your change effort if you slip.
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Tell others about your goal for change. Sharing your intention with others will bring their support and encouragement, and in some cases may help to provide you alternative activities for distraction and fun.
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Savor your steps toward success. If you focus only on the long-term goal you may begin to feel as though you’re slogging across an endless wasteland of deprivation or drudgery. Try acknowledging your “baby steps” and recognizing that each step toward your goal is a success in itself.
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Understand that not everyone wants you to change. Some people in your life may be more comfortable with you the way you are, and may even subtly – or not so subtly – let you know that they may not continue to be as close to you if your persist with changing. For example, drinking buddies might start to get together without you. Be prepared to be surprised about who comes closer and who steps further away.
Making changes isn’t always easy, but by using the tips suggested in this post (and in the previous post dated May 3, 2010) you may smooth your path to the new “you.”
Promises, Promises -part 1
Published May 3, 2010 Mental Health Issues Leave a CommentTags: breaking habits, change, habits, making changes, personal change, resolutions
Success in making personal changes means making a commitment to yourself.
Whether you call it a promise, a vow, or a resolution, when you decide to make a change in how you think, feel or act, success requires that you make a serious commitment to your intended change.
Here are 4 tips for keeping your promise to yourself:
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Use positive language. Frame your goal so that it states what you will gain rather than what you will lose.
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Have a mantra. Help yourself stay motivated by adopting a short statement about why you’re making the change as a mantra to help you through the challenging moments.
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Don’t be rigid. Give yourself a short “window” time to start the new behavior. If you choose a fixed date, and miss it, then you may start, and stop, with a feeling of failure.
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Focus on the first week. Researchers say it takes 4 days to break a pattern. If you can maintain fidelity to your promise for the first week you improve your chances to maintain it over a longer time.
Being Intentional in your self-change behavior will make the challenge of changing more manageable and more fun too!
Leaping into life.
Published November 19, 2009 Musings Leave a CommentTags: feeling stuck, feeling trapped, making changes
Are you feeling trapped by difficult circumstances? Have you lost your adventurous spirit, and so find yourself “sitting out” opportunities to enjoy yourself?
Feeling as though you have no options can rob you of your inner vitality and prevent you from maintaining the confidence to make changes. If nothing is working, perhaps do don’t have much to lose by lifting your eyes to possibilities that may exist but are invisible until you ready yourself to start something new. It may mean changing things that have become habits, or engaging in activities you’ve put on hold for too long.
It probably also will mean that 
you have to endure some initial discomfort as you embrace the unfamiliar, so expect to feel some anxiety as you turn away from the relative comfort of familiar faces and places to find those new opportunities.
Still, if the familiar is not making you happy, why not take the leap? Contact a qualified therapist to explore the changes that may be available to you.
Got Butterflies?
Published November 5, 2009 Mental Health Issues Leave a CommentTags: change through therapy, changing yourself, making changes, personal change
The process known as metamorphosis is one of the most amazing in nature. It’s also the reason that butterflies are a symbol for dramatic and poignant personal change.
We can sometimes feel that making changes is just not worth the bother and so stall and avoid any hint of it… or conversely we may feel that things have changed without our consent and that we can barely endure the results. Still others may be diligently or even desperately searching for changes that can make their lives more fulfilled. No matter which challenge you may be facing, it’s very common that the process of change feels somewhat unsettling and uncertain. Nature constantly shows us that everything around us changes, sometimes slowly and sometimes rapidly, sometimes for the better and sometimes not. One thing we can learn from watching how it’s done in the natural world is that there is a period of stillness between states… a time of rest between bursts of activity. Witness the butterfly, once a caterpillar, that enters a cocoon between times. Then, having gathered itself to become something new, emerges to dance in the wind and seek sweet nectar.
So too you can accept that between times as you move, and morph, from one way of being to another, there must be a time of rest. And perhaps then you can be patient with yourself and others as you work toward and await the changes you will achieve. Those changes will come with time, with practicing intenti
onal living, and perhaps with help.
Break out of your cocoon, and find the nectar in your life.
Call a qualified therapist today.
Acting into health? Perhaps, but an act worthy of applause.
Published October 1, 2009 Musings Leave a CommentTags: how to change, making changes, motivation for change, self motivation
I’m often asked how one can find the motivation to get up and get going when it feels like just too much effort. When you are experiencing depressive feelings, it can be very difficult to expose yourself to the hustle and flow of public life. Thinking about going to the store or getting some exercise brings with it the challenge of having to “rub shoulders” with others. This then can trigger feeling of fear, self-criticism and embarrassment, a feeling that others can see the pain, sadness or humiliation that coils, or perhaps roils inside.
When someone decides to start psychotherapy, they may be deciding that it is time to use their thinking to change their behavior. Indeed, some forms of therapy begin with the illumination, examination and alteration of patterns of thinking as a way of creating the possibility for personal change. As a therapist I frequently use cognitive techniques to help clients find a new pathway to intentional living and increased contentment.
Sometimes though it is more effective for a client to “act” first and let the actions inspire them to think and feel in new ways. We cannot always depend on a change of feeling to open the door for us “feeling like getting out” of the house… or out of the rut. Sometimes we simply have to get up and go. And yes, I know that it is so much easier to write those words than it is to act in this way when one feels submerged in sadness or despair.
Other times therapy is more helpful when it helps us to explore the past, its connection to our present, and the possible pathways to our future made possible – or perhaps made impossible – by our chance and our choices.
If you can, on your own, break though the wall your depressive thoughts and get up and out to do something enjoyable, affirming and potentially enhancing, then that’s great! Still, seeking therapy with a qualified professional can help you to find effective ways to overcome your challenges. Just remember, sometimes it won’t work to wait until the feeling strikes.
If you cannot break through on your own, perhaps you will consider seeking support and assistance from qualified professional to move beyond your immobilization even though you don’t “feel” like doing it. In the end, you and those who love you will be glad that you did.
