Archive for the 'Mental Health Issues' Category
Happy Valentine’s Day… to YOU!
Published February 13, 2012 Mental Health Issues Leave a CommentTags: happy valentine's day, love, love and therapy, quotes for intentional living, valentine, valentine's day
Self love, along with self-appreciation and self-respect, can be illusive
Forgive yourself; but not so fast!
Published January 9, 2012 Grief and Loss , Mental Health Issues , Relationships Leave a CommentTags: finding happiness, grief, Grief and Loss, intentional living, making changes, Relationships, therapy
It’s important to forgive oneself for the inevitable transgressions, failings and faulting of life. In fact, holding on to unyielding self-blame can be not only demoralizing but also incapacitating, preventing you from achieving even small successes.
BUT don’t rush it either! Too often someone will simply say to themselves “Oh well. Too bad. I wish it hadn’t happened but there’s no point in dwelling on it.”
On the contrary, it’s much more helpful – and mature – to dwell long enough to review your behavior and seriously think about how to avoid it in the future. In this time of reflection you may discover underlying issues that helped propel you to regretful conduct, and thereby have a chance to not only avoid similar circumstance, but to heal yourself and reconcile with others in a more meaningful way.
So although it is painful, and perhaps laden with sadness, take time to move THROUGH rather than move on, and build strength within yourself rather than just image for others to mistakenly admire.
Of course this process is sometimes difficult to do on your own. You may fool yourself again, as you did the first time! Contact a qualified therapist to help you find your way through and then past your grief and guilt.
Call today for an appointment, and begin the process of self-forgiveness.
Self-Harm Awareness
Published March 7, 2011 Addictions , Mental Health Issues Leave a CommentTags: cutting, self-cutting, self-mutilation awareness, self-mutiliation
March 1st is “Self Injury Awareness Day”…
Awareness is indeed important because it may help those who self-injure to hear the perspective of others who have engaged in self-injurious behavior and now have resolved their inner conflicts and urges so are able to maintain control over these urges.
It’s important for parents and other care-givers to become interested in this secret world so that you can discern when someone close to you may need support and help. It is surprising and distressing to know that most adolescents who self-injure do so while living, working and going to school in the midst of oblivious friends and adults.
Above all, knowing that someone is engaging in self-injury and remaining silent is NOT being supportive of that person. This is not a condition that should be managed on one’s own. 
Staying silent only shows the person that they are not worth your trouble, and that their own secrecy is acceptable.
Please urge anyone you know who is engaging in self-mutilating behavior to seek professional help, and make a committment to the person to seek help for them if they cannot do it for themselves. It may be the most loving thing you do for them.
Haunted??? (re-posted from 2009)
Published October 25, 2010 Mental Health Issues Leave a CommentTags: bad memories, haunted by memories, past trauma, psychotherapy, therapy
Are you haunted by the ghosts of a difficult past experience? Or perhaps by the demons of still-current destructive urges? Perhaps the Halloween celebrations can also be celebrations of your freedom from thoughts that go “bump” in the night.
It seems that many people are haunted by experiences that were traumatic and that endure in a way that infuses and even invades their daily life. Sometimes these are childhood experiences and sometimes they come from more recent events. In both cases, they may follow us where ever we go, poking our spirit with unwelcome memories and disturbing images. Sometimes a certain voice echoes in our hearts with hurtful words, and lingers with a chill even on the warmest day. Clients have told me of old voices of former partners who taunted them with “You just don’t want me to have more of him.” or “I could have anyone else in 5 minutes” or “Why should I care? What’s the point?” Other times the memory and voice is from long ago, from family or family friends, distant and hollow yet still powerful and able to pierce deeply and painfully with messages of “this is the last time.”
Difficult or even terrible memories of personal trauma from accidents, crime victimization, the sudden loss of loved ones, and the diagnosis of challenging or terminal medical conditions can also haunt us and cast a somber mood over our every moment.
If you find yourself chased by the ghosts of times and events past or present, and cannot within yourself bring them away into the light, it’s time to seek the help of a qualified therapist to help you re-kindle your imagination in a more positive and hopeful way. It’s time to start on a path of freedom from what haunts you. 
Call today to blow a breath of fresh air into your life, and chase those ghosts, and even those demons, away.
Here There Be Dragons!
Published September 27, 2010 Mental Health Issues Leave a CommentTags: fear of change, making changes, personal change
The decision to change, to journey into the unknown,
can be daunting!
It’s been said that committing to change is not unlike committing to leaving your familiar rooms and walking into a dark room every day. You can’t be sure where the people are, or even where the furniture is. You may find comfortable places and uncertain spaces. There may be welcoming arms to embrace you
and, as sailors once feared as they left sight of land, there may be dragons to face you!
If you are ready, or want to get ready to explore the possiblities in your life, then contact a qualified therapist today and set sail into a new future. And yes, the map you follow will have areas unknown and as yet unknowable, and perhaps marked with the the notation “Here there be dragons.”
Learn to slay the dragons you discover and you will be able to live your life more intentionally.
Contact a qualified therapist and begin your own journey into a new future
Anxiety: fears and facts.
Published June 8, 2010 Mental Health Issues Leave a CommentTags: anxiety, anxiety attacks, anxiety facts, Emotional Health, fear of anxiety, panic, panic attacks, worry about anxiety
“We have nothing to fear except fear itself.”
When President Roosevelt spoke those words he captured a singular truth about the way we respond to our own anticipation of difficult events or situations. Our fearful expectations can become more debilitating than the actual event of which we’re afraid. This is especially true when we become afraid of our own anxiety.
Intense anxiety and Panic Attacks can be frightening, for sure. The physical sensations associated with anxiety tend to increase the fearful feelings. If however these sensations are better understood then a large measure of the fear may be diminished. Here are some common Fears and the Facts that may help to reassure you.
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The sensations mean there is something physically wrong! No. The sensations associated with anxiety are triggered by body chemicals related to your emotional state.
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An anxiety attack, once begun, could never end! No. Anxiety attacks cannot last forever because you run out of the body chemicals that cause the sensations.
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Anxiety can drive people crazy! No. Anxiety is a natural response, but causes problems when it happens too often or causes you to do things that make matters worse.
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Anxiety will make me so dizzy that I pass out. No. The body’s reaction to anxiety is actually the opposite of what would cause you to pass out.
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Anxiety attacks will get worse and worse. No, anxiety attacks respond to what you do about them. You can reduce their intensity and even eliminate them all together.
Anxiety can be both uncomfortable and worrisome, but you can learn how to recognize and manage your anxiety symptoms so that the fear itself does not become your constant companion.
Make an appointment today to begin illuminating and changing those scary thoughts.
Thanks, but no thanks.
Published May 17, 2010 Grief and Loss , Mental Health Issues Leave a CommentTags: empathy
“It happened for a reason.”
How many times have you heard it… or even said it yourself? Someone has a calamitous event befall, and in an effort to cheer them up, cheer them on, someone will say that it’s a gift that will teach them about themselves. Or perhaps that it will make them stronger, or a better person.
It’s partly true of course. Unfortunate events can hold within them lessons from which we might draw insight and determination to make better decisions and live a better life. But that doesn’t a blessing make. In the words of Micheal J. Fox, currently struggling with Parkinson’s Disease, some people may want to see it as a gift, sure, but it’s “the gift that keeps on taking.”
If you have the chance to support and console a friend who has had a difficult circumstance befall, it’s a wonderful thing to offer hope and to urge him or her to find a way to use the experience in a positive way; but it’s not helpful to simply re-cast the situation as a splendid gift! Better to admit you would not want it to happen to you, and connect with the pain and sadness in a genuine and authentic way. Far from demoralizing the person, acknowledging that no one would want such an event in their lives will let your friend or loved-one know that you actually do understand.
If you would speak of gifts, be the gift you speak of.
Mother.
Published May 10, 2010 Mental Health Issues , Relationships 1 CommentTags: celebrating mother, missing mother, mother, mother's day
Mother’s Day almost always touches us deeply.
Like so many other people, the clients I see in my psychotherapy practice have deep feelings about their moms. Most often the feelings are a potpourri of warm and tender memories mixed with small regrets, perhaps for having been a difficult teenager or maybe because they are separated from their moms by more miles than are easily traveled.
Sometimes there are more difficult, complex or confused feelings brought on by long-time conflict or strong differences in world view or life style that are blended into the love that lives between and within them.
And then sometimes there is the simple yet piercing hollowness of missing her. The person cannot be with her or his mom because she is deceased, having been taken by nature or by violence. Perhaps she is suffering from an incapacitating disease like Dementia that renders her nearly as unreachable as does the silence of the grave. For each, and all of these circumstances there remains the purest kind of connection… that of mother and child; and also therefore the purest kind of experience.
For each and every client I who I have seen in psychotherapy or counseling, for so many reasons, the thought of “mother” had a powerful resonance. And so, on Mother’s Day each year, 
I think of friends and their mothers, I think of the mothers, and their children, that I have seen in my office, and I think of my own mother with awe at the power of that relationship.
If you want, or need, to talk about your mother, in celebration or despair or both, contact me or another qualified therapist and begin today.
Promises, Promises – part 2
Published May 6, 2010 Mental Health Issues Leave a CommentTags: breaking habits, change, intentional living, making changes, personal change
Success in making personal changes means making a committment to yourself.
Here are 4 more tips to help when you decide to make a personal change in your behavior.
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Move beyond your slips. If you have a setback and haven’t acknowledged that we all can fall a step back in our efforts to change, you might feel defeated, then feel that since you’ve already been defeated there’s no point in going on. Practice being resilient rather than rigid, and re-start your change effort if you slip.
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Tell others about your goal for change. Sharing your intention with others will bring their support and encouragement, and in some cases may help to provide you alternative activities for distraction and fun.
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Savor your steps toward success. If you focus only on the long-term goal you may begin to feel as though you’re slogging across an endless wasteland of deprivation or drudgery. Try acknowledging your “baby steps” and recognizing that each step toward your goal is a success in itself.
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Understand that not everyone wants you to change. Some people in your life may be more comfortable with you the way you are, and may even subtly – or not so subtly – let you know that they may not continue to be as close to you if your persist with changing. For example, drinking buddies might start to get together without you. Be prepared to be surprised about who comes closer and who steps further away.
Making changes isn’t always easy, but by using the tips suggested in this post (and in the previous post dated May 3, 2010) you may smooth your path to the new “you.”
Promises, Promises -part 1
Published May 3, 2010 Mental Health Issues Leave a CommentTags: breaking habits, change, habits, making changes, personal change, resolutions
Success in making personal changes means making a commitment to yourself.
Whether you call it a promise, a vow, or a resolution, when you decide to make a change in how you think, feel or act, success requires that you make a serious commitment to your intended change.
Here are 4 tips for keeping your promise to yourself:
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Use positive language. Frame your goal so that it states what you will gain rather than what you will lose.
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Have a mantra. Help yourself stay motivated by adopting a short statement about why you’re making the change as a mantra to help you through the challenging moments.
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Don’t be rigid. Give yourself a short “window” time to start the new behavior. If you choose a fixed date, and miss it, then you may start, and stop, with a feeling of failure.
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Focus on the first week. Researchers say it takes 4 days to break a pattern. If you can maintain fidelity to your promise for the first week you improve your chances to maintain it over a longer time.
