Tools for Intentional Living – Dr. J. Nickens

Birthdays Wishes came from nearly everyone…

except her.

My client said he was a little too sad to really celebrate the day, but said he’d managed to smile and chat with everyone during the impromptu party that some friends had organized.   He didn’t want to “talk” about it though.  He only wanted to tell me that he’d missed seeing her smoky eyes and mischievous smile when he looked at the group singing to him.  In the past she’d made his birthday feel so special.

And then he talked about it.   And the pain, disappointment and emotional turmoil was suddenly there, bouncing around with seemingly no place to go, like a flight of colorful balloons.

This is how it sometimes goes in therapy.  It’s a time and place where you can say something – everything – you didn’t want to say.  And see something about yourself that you didn’t want to see.  And… more often than not, at sometime during the process, you feel a new sense of quiet satisfaction in your self-discovery.  A feeling that indeed you’ve reached and stepped beyond a milestone into a new understanding and a new kind of promise.   That there is much before you to be embraced, enjoyed and even celebrated. Then the “Happy Birthday” song - and all that goes with it – begins to take on new meaning. 

During the time he was in therapy he never again heard from her, but he did celebrate his next birthday with lighter spirit and a soft, musical memory of her.   He even danced.