Archive for July, 2009
Tags: emotional anniversary, trauma anniversary
Tags: parenting, parenting advice, raising children
Marian Wright Edelman wrote, in an open letter to her
children, sentiments that we could all embrace:
“I seek your forgiveness for all the times when I talked
when I should have listened; got angry when I should have
been patient; acted when I should have waited; feared
when I should have delighted; scolded when I should have
encouraged; criticized when I should have complemented;
said “No” when I should have said “Yes” and “Yes” when I
should have said “No”.
I did not know a whole lot about parenting, so I mistakenly
tried to mold you into my image of what I wanted you
to be instead of discovering you and nourishing you as you
emerged and grew.”
Try today to discover and nourish your children in the way that Ms. Edelman grew to understand would give them the loving support and guidance that they need and deserve. Ms. Edelman became an inspiration to us all with her tireless pursuit of social justice and personal safety for all children. We need not aspire to her heights in order to bring these loving ideals to the children we cherish.
Perhaps the most common feeling brought into the therapy office is loneliness. Each of us, when faced with seemingly insurmountable challenges, feels as if we are alone in the experience, alienated from everyone around us by the depth and power of the pain.
What is difficult to remember is that all human beings, at some moments during their lifetime, experience similar pain: the pain of loss, real or imagined; the pain of yearning, of knowing, of not knowing. In this we are all brothers and sisters.
Break out of your isolation and feelings of being alone in your pain, or despair, or grief, or yearning. Talk to a friend, get out and surround yourself with people who are busy living life, and make ann appointment with a qualified mental health professional. In this way you can balance your challenging feelings with hopefulness and an intention to make positive changes in your life.
Tags: lost love, lost relationship, poetry and therapy
In my last post, “I Just Start Crying for No Reason,” I referenced a poem that I’ve loved for years. I was asked by several people about the poem, and suggested they read Marge Piercy for more, but for your interest, here is the entire poem.
Being together is knowing
Even if what we know
is that we cannot really be together
caught in the teeth of the machinery
of the wrong moments of our lives.
A clear umbilicus
goes out invisibly between,
thread we spin fluid and finer than hair
but strong enought to hang a bridge on.
That bridge will be there
a blacklight rainbow arching out of your skull
whenever you need
whenever you can open your eyes and want
to walk upon it.
Nobody can live on a bridge
or plant potatoes
but it is fine for comings and goings.
meetings, partings and long views
and a real connection to someplace else
where you may
now and again want to be.
Tags: AA, alcoholic, alcoholics, drinking, obsessing, positive thinking
There is a saying, popular among Alcoholics Anonymous proponents, that when one pays more attention to the issues others have than to ones own life challenges, that you are “renting space in you head” for them to store their troubles with you – so they can sleep like a baby while you sit up worrying about what they’re doing and why. Or with whom.
Perhaps its time to take down your “For Rent” sign, and focus your time and intentions on the positive aspects of your life: the health and well-being of yourself, those you love and who love you, and the world in general. Though a trite question when we are immersed in the swirl of our ever expanding social and professional concerns, it’s still worth asking: If this were my last few days on earth, how would I spend them? And what am I doing that I would stop doing?
Don’t wait. What really are you waiting for? Move into the positive, and begin to re-create your dreams with all of your “head space” available for the task. It will leave more room for dreaming of a better tomorrow, and for planning to make your dreams come true.