Forgive yourself; but not so fast!

It’s important to forgive oneself for the inevitable transgressions, failings and faulting of life.  In fact, holding on to unyielding self-blame can be not only demoralizing but also incapacitating, preventing you from achieving even small successes.
BUT don’t rush it either!  Too often someone will simply say to themselves “Oh well.  Too bad.  I wish it hadn’t happened but there’s no point in dwelling on it.”
On the contrary, it’s much more helpful – and mature – to dwell long enough to review your behavior and seriously think about how to avoid it in the  future.   In this time of reflection you may discover underlying issues that helped propel you to regretful conduct, and thereby have a chance to not only avoid similar circumstance, but to heal yourself and reconcile with others in a more meaningful way.
So although it is painful, and perhaps laden with sadness, take time to move THROUGH rather than move on, and build strength within yourself rather than just image for others to mistakenly admire.
Of course this process is sometimes difficult to do on your own.  You may fool yourself again, as you did the first time!  Contact a qualified therapist to help you find your way through and then past your grief and guilt.

Call today for an appointment, and begin the process of self-forgiveness.

Quotes for Intentional Living – 1/06/12

Quote for Intentional Living

“Don’t be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality.

If you can dream it, you can make it so.”

                           Belva Davis

It’s about time!

Imagine that you had won the following prize in a
contest:
Each morning your bank would deposit $86,400.00 in your private account for your use.
However, this prize has rules, just as any game has rules.
   The first set of rules would be:
1) Everything that you didn’t spend during each day would be taken away from you.
2) You may not transfer money into some other account.   You may only spend it.         
3) Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with another $86,400.00 for that day.
      The second set of  rules - there’s only one!:
     The bank can end the game without warning; at any time it can say “It’s over, the game is over!” and you will not be invited to play again.  Your account is permanently closed!
What would you do?
You would buy anything and everything you wanted, right?  Not only for yourself, but also for people you love, right?  And you would do as many “good” things as you could for everyone everywhere.  You would try to spend as much of it as you possibly could doing good things for the planet, its people, and the creatures we share it with.
     ACTUALLY This  GAME is  REALITY!
Each of us is in possession of such a magical  bank. We just can’t seem to see it.
             
The MAGICAL BANK is  TIME!
Each morning we awaken to receive 86,400
seconds as a gift of life, and when we go to sleep at night, any remaining time is  NOT credited to us.
What we haven’t lived up that day is forever  
lost.
Yesterday is forever gone.
Each morning the account is refilled, but the bank  can dissolve your account at any
time….WITHOUT  WARNING.
SO, what will YOU do with your 86,400  seconds?
Those seconds are worth so much more than the
same amount in dollars.
Think about that, and always think of this:
Enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than you  think.
So take care of yourself, be Happy, Love Deeply and enjoy life!
Start spending!

Quotes for Intentional Living – 7/09/11

Quote for Intentional Living

“In the end, we will remember
not the words of our enemies,
but the silence of our friends.”

Martin Luther King Jr.”

Happy Independence Day

As we celebrate Independence Day for our country,

take a step toward personal celebration…

and ending your own dependence on alcohol or drugs!

Much is made of the capacity to manage one’s life independently, but so many people find themselves struggling with their dependence on alcohol or drugs and sometimes lose confidence in their own inner strength.   

At its most extreme consequence, alcohol and drug dependence can rob one of friends, family, purpose and promise, until the person ceases to understand or accept the terrible price others may have paid for caring about them and trying to be loving and supportive even when the addiction turned cruel.

If you are questioning your own use of alcohol or drugs, and think that just maybe the people who have suggested it’s a significant problem are right, why not seek a professional opinion?  Call a qualified therapist today, and begin the process of exploring and illuminating your lifestyle choices and their impact on you and on the people in your life. 

Climb out of the depth of your addiction and reclaim your life.  Your therapist and the people who still care about you will believe in you until you can believe in yourself.

YES YOU CAN. 

 

 

 

 

Quotes for Intentional Living – 07/02/11

Quote for Intentional Living

“If you’re not living on the edge,

you’re taking up too much space.”

                     Flo Kennedy

Quotes for Intentional Living – 06/25/11

Quote for Intentional Living

“You are never too old to set another goal or dream another dream.”

C. S. Lewis

Life in 5 Short Chapters.

This is a nice little story that illustrates the kind of learning and changes that therapy makes possible.  It is re-printed here from the blog of Page Brockwell, ASW, a talented young therapist who I had the pleasure of supervising during her final months of training.  You can find out more about Page Brockwell – or make an appointment to see her by going to www.pagebrockwell.com on the web.

Life in Five Short Chapters

 

CHAPTER 1  I walk down the street. There’s a deep hole in the sidewalk. And I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.

CHAPTER 2  I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place. But it isn’t my fault. It takes a long time to get out.

CHAPTER 3  I walk down the same street and there is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it there, and still I fall in. It’s a habit. But my eyes are open and I know where I am. It is my fault and I get out immediately.

CHAPTER 4  I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

CHAPTER 5  I walk down a different street.

Holes in your cosmos? As you walk, and write your own life story, remember that there is help available if you find yourself falling in to too many of those holes, and lingering there for much too long. 

Contact a therapist today.

 

 

 

Quotes for Intentional Living – 6/04/11

Quote for Intentional Living

“You can’t cross a sea by merely staring into the water.”

Rabindranath Tagore

 

Quotes for Intentional Living – 5/28/11

Quote for Intentional Living

“Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable.”

Mary Oliver

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